"A HUMOUROUS GUIDE TO CIRCLE ETIQUETTE FOR BEGINNERS"

1.  Always visit the bathroom before you step into the circle.  Some High
Priests and Priestesses tend to be a bit long-winded and it may be a while.

2.  Never tell a High Priest or Priestess that they are a bit long-winded.

3.  If you MUST drop your athame on someone's foot, drop it on your own, but
remember, reconsecration is long-winded.

4.  Never wear ritual jewelry that is gaudier than that being worn by the High
Priestess.  Rank has its privileges.

5.  Privileges of rank include chanting loudest and singing off-key.  If you
wish to usurp these privileges, do so SOFTLY.

6.  Never goose anybody with your wand, unless it is specifically called for in
the ritual.

7.  Always move and send things Deosil around the circle. Deosil meaning in the
apparent clockwise rotation of the sun around the earth; unless of course you
are from the Southern hemisphere (or otherwise facing North), where the sun
seems to go counterclockwise around the earth.  Then again, there is always the
moon which although it seems to be going Deosil is actually sneaking around
going Widdershins...When in doubt, stand between two or more people and do what
they do.

8.  Never drink the last of the wine. The High Priest or Priestess are probably
saving the dregs for themselves.

9.  Don't worry about how you look when you're skyclad.  Everybody else is too
busy worrying about how they look skyclad to notice.

10.  Never "accidently" drip hot candlewax on someone else's naked tush.

11. Always allow at least two hours after eating Schezwan or jalapenos before
attending a circle and kissing everyone.

12. Do not disrupt a closed circle by walking through it.  Many insects and
small animals may cross the circle without disrupting it and under these
circumstances are considered psychically Null and Void.  Disrupt the circle and
you may be considered a bit Null and Void yourself.

13. In the case of unwanted or unforeseen spiritual manifestation do not run or
scream.  You will only draw their attention.

14. Remember: Your gravitational attraction to candlewax, spilled wine, incense
smoke and candle flames is in direct proportion to the cost of dry-cleaning
your robe.

15. Anything which you allow to follow you home from the Astral is unlikely to
be housebroken.

16. Never touch anyone else's ritual tools or gear without their permission.
Attack training is common.