WHY DOESN'T GAY MEAN HAPPY?

                          By Don Wildgrube
(talk given at the Hollywood Unitarian Fellowship – September 5, 1993)


When we thing of the word "gay", two distinctly different ideas are conveyed. 
The first is "gay" meaning "homosexual" and the second "gay" meaning "happy". 
The gay, or homosexual, lifestyle is anything but happy when dealing with 
typical "straight" society.

I'm sure that you are aware of the problems that lesbians and gays face in their 
everyday life. What I intend to address here is a social problem, not the 
problem of health and AIDS.

We all have heard of attacks by the "sissy beaters", or of the murderers and 
mutilations of gays. This is nothing new. Ages ago, gays were tied up and placed 
in bungles of sticks and set on fire. This is where the term "faggot" comes 
from. During World War II, it was well known that Jews had to have a yellow star 
of David sewn in their clothing for identification. Gays had to identify 
themselves the same way with a pink triangle, point down, sewn on their 
clothing.

Let us not forget the cross-dressers. Joan of Arc was burned at the state. 
Article Twelve of her indictment read: "Jeanne, rejecting and abandoning women's 
clothing, her hair cut around like a young coxcomb, took shirt, breeches, 
doublet...tight fitting boots or buskins, long spurs, sword, dagger, breast-
plate, lance and other arms in fashion of a man of war."

In the 14th century, orders were sent out by the King of France to arrest 5000 
members of the Order of the Knights of Templar for among other things, 
homosexuality. Whether or not the charge was true, thousands, including the 
leader, Grand Master Jacques de Molay, met their death for the crime.

So what does this all mean? It means that for the past thousand years or so, gay 
men and lesbian women have been discriminated against, tortured, killed, and 
maimed. We need to be aware of the problems and care for our bothers and 
sisters, no matter what their sexual orientation may be.

But this is only a part of the problem. When there are problems that affect a 
person, we not only have to look outside the person to see what external forces 
may be causing the problem, we also need to look inside to see if the problem or 
part of it is caused by something internal. What kind of person are they? What 
are their goals? What is their agenda for life? All of this comes down to the 
question of belief systems.

A belief system is an individuals system for setting their own values, which in 
turn, set the path for the individual to walk. The belief system may be such 
that the path is easy to walk, or it may be that the path will be difficult. I 
personally believe that the path that is easier, set with less obstacles is the 
better. Life outside sets up enough obstacles for us. To add my own obstacles 
serves no useful purpose.

In this present age, straight people have fewer problems in lifestyle then to 
lesbians and gays. We do not have to hide our sexual orientation. We can 
interact with friends knowing what our gender roles are. We can court, marry and 
raise a family – no problem. A nice home in the suburbs, white picket fence, a 
wife and 2.3 or is it 1.5 children to greet you after a hard days work at the 
office. "Just Molly and Me, and baby makes three...", as the song goes.

Of course we know that life is not this simple. But, but and large, compared to 
the gay life style, it is.

We go to church on Sundays or to Schul on Saturdays. We are told of God's plan, 
and how we are to act in God's world. (House in the suburbs, white picket fence 
and all). Some of us are free thinkers and go to the Unitarian Fellowship or 
other groups that give a persons mind a workout.

Some do not go to religious services, but know that they really should. After 
all, this is what we were taught when growing up.

We all do this, including gays and lesbians. So what does it mean to the gays 
and lesbians. God's plan dictates heterosexuality. There are no two ways about 
it. The words are clear: "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a 
woman, both of them have committed and abomination: they shall surely be put to 
death; their blood shall be upon them." 
And:
"Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the Kingdom of God? Be not 
deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, 
nor abusers of themselves with mankind...shall inherit the Kingdom of God."

I guess that includes all of us. The first quote was given to Moses by God, the 
second was a quote from the founder of Christianity, Paul. But we are here in 
this fellowship and not under the rulership of The Bible, it's just another 
book, no matter what Jesse Helms, Ronald Reagan or George Bush have to say about 
it.

Now, if a person is burned by fire once, they seldom go back to be burned again, 
much less over and over again. We should have learned from the first experience 
and recognize that burning is uncomfortable and we don't want to do it again. 
But we seem to do just that over and over again, plunge our hands into the 
flames, hoping that this time it won't be hot. What fools we can be!

This holds true for religion. Last week Rel said that he saw the purpose of 
religion was to validate the individual. To validate, to empower, not to take 
power away. If the purpose of religion is to validate, why be a part of a 
religion that not only takes power away, but gives that power to people that 
want to direct it against you.

We need to remember that "Man is not really created in the image of God", but 
the reverse is true. We create our own Gods. If we are a vengeful people, we 
will create vengeful gods. If we are a loving people, we will create a loving 
god. If our society is homophobic, we will create a homophobic god.

Creation of a god is the first step, the next step is to create doctrine to 
secure this gods place. This is where the Bible and other philosophical books 
come in. a god that goes against humanity, need all the props that can be built. 
A god that does not empower people is a god of jealousy and slavery.

So what kind of religions are available to the gay and lesbian community?

The major one is the MCC or Metropolitan Community Church. The MCC is a 
Christian, Pentacostal Church, one of the most repressive branches of 
Christianity. I have talked to people that have attended the MCC who tell me how 
nice it is. To me the MCC is lower then the other homophobic Christian Churches, 
because it is hypocritical. It completely ignores what the Christian writings 
spell out so clearly. It is a religious group based on a lie, and plays on the 
emotions of people so dearly seeking acceptance.

The same holds true for the MCS, the Jewish counterpart. The MCS is an Orthoodox 
Jewish group. The worlds of JHVH are clear.

The Catholics have gay groups called "Dignity". The Church has a novel way of 
dealing with homosexuality: It's okay to be gay, as long as you don't do 
anything about it. This approach, to want gays to deny who they are, certainly 
does not bring Dignity.

It is beyond me as to why these groups exist, unless it is to hopefully win the 
sinners over to heterosexuality, or to hope that god, being political, looks at 
membership numbers to see which way he should go.

It is also beyond me as to why gays and lesbians remain in a religion that 
doesn't want them. I think that this is a major problem with the gay community.

Christianity is an upstart religion, barely 2000 years old. Had it not had 
political clout, it may have been beaten out my Mithraism. Christianity is based 
on an older tribal religion of marauding, pastoral people. The raping, pillaging 
and slaughter is well documented in their own books.

Before the rise in the popularity of Judaism and Christianity, there were other 
religions that were not concerned about a persons sexual preferences.

Some of the most beautiful poetry was written by Sappho on the island of Lesbos. 
Women came to the island as a retreat from the drudgery of a mans world. 
Although some of the women were sexually attracted to other women, this was not 
a condition for entry. Women went there to be with other women, their sexuality 
did not matter. And their seclusion was supported and respected by the males. It 
was understood that going to Lesbos was a vacation from, not a rejection of, 
men. So when it comes down to it, Lesbians may or may not be homosexual.

Earlier societies, commonly misnames "Matriarchal", had a society in which 
sexuality was not repressed. On the contrary, it was openly celebrated. People 
did not deny their feelings, they expressed it by loving people, no regardless 
of their gender. People were also free to express themselves in clothing, 
jewelry, art, and in every facet of life. There was no absolute as to who can 
wear dresses and who must wear pants. How long hair should be. Who could or 
could not wear make-up or body decorations.

To get closer to home, the religions of the Native Americans are religions of 
equality, worship of the Great Spirit and the Earth Mother. Here again, 
sexuality was open, in fact, it's really difficult to close and lock your 
bedroom door when you live in a tepee. The young people learned about love from 
loving people, not sterile sex education classes or from up-tight bumbling 
parents. Or from a pamphlet from a sanitary napkin maker.

Within Native American society there were gay male transvestites. Among the 
prairie Indians they were called 'berdache', 'mujerado' among the Pueblo Indians 
and 'nadle' the Lesbian or gay shaman of the Navaho. Arthur Evans writes, 
"Cross-dressing by both men and women, masquerading in animal skins, and ritual 
sex are common in the oldest traditions of non-industrial societies. Here 
Lesbians and Gay men are often shamans (healers-priests)."

So what do we have today? We have Dianic Witchcraft Covens that are for women 
only, and largely composed of lesbians. Originally the groups were not only for 
women only, but were anti-male. Recently there has been a change of heart. Z 
Budapest has stated that Dianic Witchcraft is limited to women, or anyone what 
was bron of a woman. I'm not sure what part males play in this group now, 
although I was a part of her first Dianic circle in which men too part. The part 
the men played was to stand outside, 20 paces away, facing out, to guard and 
protect the group, which, by the way was necessary.

We have men's groups such as the Radical Faeires, composed of men who are mainly 
gay. Arthur Evans, mentioned above, provided the catalyst to bring men together 
to regain their spirituality without having to give in to the restrictions of 
straight religions.

These groups may serve to raise self esteem, but I am concerned about furthering 
the polarization of your society and providing an excellent target for people 
with the mentality of Rush Limbaugh.

There is a group headquartered in California, that has reestablished the old 
polytheistic pre-Ankhenaton Egyptian religion. This is the Church of the Eternal 
Source. It has attracted more gay males, but is not exclusive gay or male.

There are other alternatives to repressive religions. Start your own religion. 
You have just as much right as any other person, prophet or not. Or join a group 
that is working to get rid of prejudices in the world. I can suggest this 
fellowship. Come join us. Learn from us as we learn from you.

Dr. Wayme Dyer writes: "...the two most futile emotions are guilt...and worry." 
Let us get rid of all guilt, it serves no useful purpose and let us all echo the 
words that Alban sings in "La Cage Aux Folles": "I am what I am, and what I am, 
needs no excuses!"

Blessed Be.


1. Jeanne d'Arc, T. Douglas Murray, pp 345-346

2. Leviticus 20:13 The Bible, King James Version

3. l Corinthians 6:9,10 The Bible, King James Version

4. WITCHCRAFT and the Gay Counterculture, Arthur Evans, p101

5. For further information, contact Z. Budapest, %"Thesmophoria", Susan B. 
Anthony Coven No.1, P.O. Box 11363, Oakland, Ca 94611

6. For more information, contact: "RFD-A Country Journal for Gay Men 
Everywhere", RFD, Running Water, Rt. 1, Box 127-E, Bakersfield, NC 28705

7. For additional information contact: The Church of the Eternal Source, P.O. 
Box 7091, Burbank, Ca 91519-7091

8. "Your Erroneous Zones", Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Page 97